Tough Questions and Popsicles

A friend asked me recently how do you let go of something?  Especially when that something is really bothering you, and you didn't realize just how much until recently.

Unfortunately, that is the question we all ask.  The question that keeps many of us up at night,  has us doing drive by's, forces us to reject ourselves and even sometimes pushes us over the edge.  The edge of reason, the edge of sanity, and worst of all, the edge of reality.

My answer was simple.  Start writing a blog.  Maybe, not so simple.  To write what you really think and feel, is not easy.  My friend Jenny called me brave recently.  I wish.

But, what I do know, is that forcing myself to say/write what I am thinking on the inside is helping me to heal.  Heal the part of my soul that is grieving.  Because the loss of trust is something that we need to focus more inward that outward.  Trust may be earned, but it is fragile and overlooked by many.

It made me think of popsicles... I know weird...but just wait. (Plus, this is MY interpretation...don't get all jazzed up about my choices--there is a point to it).

An unopened box of popsicles has so many different possibilities.  There is the ever LOVED cherry.  Everyone wants her around.  She has the best stories.  She is the GREATEST.  Who could not want the cherry popsicle.  Plus, she makes your lips look like lipstick!  Heaven on a stick.  She is the ever POPULAR cherry.  But, too much of cherry and you want to puke.

Grape is the tough one.  She was once popular, but she sits more on the sidelines now.  A bruised and battered grape.  Still, yes still, as fabulous as cherry, but she is just so 20 MINUTES ago!!!  She will eventually realize that she is stronger and braver than she thought she was.  Though the scars are fading..she still bleeds every so often.  No one likes to be shoved to the side and told they are worthless. 

Poor orange.  Everyone thought he was the cherry popsicle.  He is tossed back more than any other flavor.  He isn't as handsome, or athletic as cherry and her cohorts.  But, he is a strong fellow.  More aware that he is headed on an upward climb and he knows that the view will be spectacular when he gets there.  He may be overlooked now, but he is confident enough in himself to know there are better things for him in the future, than what he is leaving behind.

Then there is POOR lime.  Ignored.  Avoided.  Made to feel inferior.  Weird.  Quiet.  Fat.  Ugly.  Stupid.  Gay.  Whore.  Slut.  All the horrible names they are called.  All the slashes that are carved on their souls.  The most damaged of them all.  The one that is thrown around.  The hardest one to see themselves for the true beauty and genius of their AWESOMENESS.

At some point, we are all of them.  Every color.  Every flavor.

We are still trying to hold on to our glory years.  Trying to live the perfect life, through our children, because of our children and some, in spite of their children.  We are all perfectly lovely and perfectly stupid, all in the same breath.  We see betrayal and hurt at 5, 15, and even 39. 

So, while letting go is a wonderful concept and ideally the perfect answer.  Sometimes, letting go is just not where we are at times.  But, we get there.  Every wound eventually becomes a scar. 

A reminder of our loss, but also a reminder of our strength.  Because that is truly what we ALL have.  True strength.  No matter what flavor and color we are.